Wednesday, September 16, 2009

GREATNESS

A site that is greatness ... and I mean it!!

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

Anytime you need a break and a good laugh head here ... just make sure you're not eating. I've choked several times.

Things I've learned about Sadie ...

1. She comes running, eager and expectant, anytime you say her name. She's just waiting to be called.
2. She is content with little and savors much.
3. She barks to let you know she's there. Otherwise, no barking.
4. She has a grandma spirit that i think sees a lot.
5. When she stares straight at the SAME corner in our living room I really wonder if she is looking at an angel. She is transfixed, and it is always in the same place that she is looking (she's doing it right now, and then looking at me, and then looking back ... hmmm.... )
6. She likes to go outside to see what's happenin' and then wants to come back in to be with us - the ones she loves most.
7. She gets scared and hides under whatever she can find.
8. She wants to be good but sometimes she's just not.
9. She loves babies and kids and feels proud when she's sweet to them.
10. She loves to play and will be completely ridiculous until you join her in the game. Even though we don't always join, she still tries with the same amount of zeal and hope.
11. She is not one to turn away affection, and actually encourages for as much as she can get. And most of the time, gets extra.

Our Dades ... we love her (crizap and all.)

Also, we are finding she is very much like us ... just fully in the open about it.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Coming to a close ...

Facebook Fast over in 5 days! WOOOOOOOOO!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Facebook Fast ... and furious

Okay, not furious, but I've been fasting from Facebook for a good three weeks now and tonight is the HARDEST it's been not to get on there... Could it be that I'm just relaxing at home, Labor Day is over, and it would be fun to peruse pictures and comments and such? Could it also be that something monumental is happening on there?! I do wonder, but I SHAN'T go.

I thought maybe blogging about really wanting to get on there would help. We'll see if it does.

Happy Labor Day to all! :O)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Open wide my heart!

It's pretty amazing when we actually live the way that our heart responds... beautiful, actually!

I am so thankful for my job, for the opportunities God is giving me to be me and I find myself coming alive again ... deeply alive. Singing in the morning, laughing alone in the kitchen while I pour my coffee *GASP!!* I'm falling in love with God, again!!

Oh my gosh, I hadn't realized that until JUST now, but in sharing how I'm feeling I remember that two/three weeks ago I told Him that I wanted to fall in love with Him again and He is doing it!! How is He doing it?? By me starting to live in the way I was created to live, my soul is responding and singing!! LOVE IT!

Case in point of me feeling very 'me' ... Tuesday I was in the office and I rounded the corner and pointed at my cube-mate, very broadway like, singing, "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, " ... and when I went to the second line I was going to add the big ol' broadway kick - not the chorus line kick but the sassy knee first then toe slap, "Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care!" And on the 'care' I did the slap kick and my shoe flew OFF my foot like a stinking missile, SHOOTING across the office and slamming into the opposite wall! Narrowly, like inches, missing cube-mate's face by the way. I stopped, *scream!* and then we just laughed and laughed!!!

I'm pretty confident I heard God laughing too :O)

love to you all ... I pray you are living in who you were created to be. We are His workmanship, made on purpose - every piece. As we grow/remain committed to being who we are, we will find that life inside of Him.

Thank you, Lord!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

A desert on the mend

You know what, I am truly deeply in love with the Lord ... and it is nothing of my own doing. That's for dang sure.

I was just in the kitchen fixing myself a couple little hors' dourves (if I spelled that right I should give MYSELF 10 dollars) and as I was putting the finishing touches on, I was thinking of the conversation I had had with the Lord earlier ... really, the begging.

"GOD!! Why is it so easy to feel you and to talk to you and to hear from you when I am in community or with other people, but when it's just been you and me lately I feel so dry! Like you aren't there!! I hate that Lord and I don't want that type of relationship with You!! Please help me! Please show me what scripture to read .. i really want to hear You and I ask that Your Word would come alive to me. PLEASE speak to me as you desire" And John 7 came to mind, so I went on faith and I was reading about Jesus, which really does my heart good to read about my best friend and the life He lived. It goes to about the middle of the chapter where it talks about him being the spring of life. Specifically verse 37 and 38 say, "Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." This afternoon I just started crying because I haven't been feeling that way. When I am with OTHERS talking about God or even to Him I have, but what about just me and You, Lord?

This evening, as I was wrapping up making my crackers, turkey, swiss and dill relish (my hors' douvres ;) ), I was thinking back to that, "Father, I really don't feel the streams of living water and that's what I long for. I want to live in that place. I know You promise it, but I haven't been feeling it when it's just me and You" And as I was walking from the kitchen back to the office, He did it. All of the sudden gratefulness flooded my heart such that I forgot I had JUST uttered that prayer ... I was just walking through my house, and was suddenly so thankful for His provision of a sweet dog, a wonderful home, food to eat, an evening to relax and then I heard them, no FELT them, trinkling through my soul. Living Water.

The Lord just reminded me of something else that He's been talking to me about this week: He inhabits the praise of His people so it makes COMPLETE sense that I would feel Him as I praised and thanked Him!! GEEZ!!! You are SOO good! You CAUSED my thankful heart and then you INHABITED it!! You are so wild, Father! (you can read about this in Psalm 22, I'm heading there in just a sec)

Just now when I went to grab the verses above in John 7 I saw again the ones that follow: "By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive." I BELIEVE!! And He is HERE!!! Hallelujah! Or, Praise the Lord!!!

I am SO thankful the Spirit is inside of me, guiding me to praise and as a result, the Lord is here with me!!! Does He set us up to win or what??!?!

You truly blow my mind, Lord. You are more than ANYTHING I can understand, but I accept you SO thankfully, so thankfully.


ADDENDUM: I just went and looked at Psalm 22 and the word 'enthroned' is commonly used. Which in the original writing means: to dwell, remain, sit, abide
(Qal)
to sit, sit down
to be set
to remain, stay
to dwell, have one's abode
(Niphal) to be inhabited
(Piel) to set, place
(Hiphil)
to cause to sit
to cause to abide, set
to cause to dwell
to cause (cities) to be inhabited
to marry (give an dwelling to)
(Hophal)
to be inhabited
to make to dwell

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Christmas in September? Sounds GREAT to me!

I know it's been a while, but here I am again.

I am REALLY feeling a desire for fall and the Christmas season. So much so that I jokingly told a friend last week that I want to decorate for Christmas in September, have our Christmas Party in October and then just enjoy November and December of other people's events and parties all while sitting in twinkling lights and candles at home.

At first I thought I was just kidding, but now I don't know that I am! Even sitting here now I'm longing for hot chocolate and fleece pajamas, holiday scented candles and twinkling lights. I don't have any plans this weekend, other than continuing to prepare for my garden, so I may just find myself stringing up the lights :O)

Realistically I'll wait til September, but ONLY just maybe. Especially since a lot of the post Christmas extreme clearance decor I purchased is fall colors.

Who am I kidding ... I don't think I can wait.

Have a twinkly day!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Simply Pray

Hey everyone! I know it's been a LONG time since my last post, but God has been up to absolutely wild and incredible things which have left me with zero time to share!

One of the "bigs" I would love to share with you is the video below :O) It is a session God let me share at a Women's Retreat and then again two weeks later ... What He did was like nothing He had done in our relationship before I wanted to share that with you :O) Also, if you came to one of these sessions, I would LOVE to get your feedback and hear how it's going for you. The video is at this link:
http://blip.tv/file/2140021

I am no professional AT ALL so this video was made by someone sweet enough to record it and then another wonderful friend uploaded it for me :O) YAY FOR FRIENDS!!!!!

If after you watch the video (note AFTER ;) ) you want to read the notes I wrote to sum this up they are below, but PLEASE watch the video first and respond as God leads you through the session. Let HIM lead your time ... not me.

Love love to you all :O)
Anna


Lectio Divina: Divine Conversation, the Embrace of God
1 Lectio: Prayerful, slow, heart-centered reading of a sacred text.
a. This is the most crucial step … centering your heart to hear what God wants to talk to you about. Before you open the Bible, be honest with God. Talk to Him about how you are feeling, what you are thinking. Lay it all out - completely honest. THEN ask Him to line your heart up with His. This gives Him complete freedom to talk to you as He desires.
b. “How do I choose what to read?” Honestly, it doesn’t matter what passage of the Bible you read. You are asking God to speak to you and He will regardless of where you are in the Bible. He may not speak to you about what you are asking Him, but He will speak to you about what you need to hear first. He really does know your needs better than you do. Trust Him with the timing of His answer. If you feel you want to explore a certain book of the Bible, go for it. If you want to look at a certain subject go to the back of your Bible and look in the index for that topic – choose a passage from the list that is there. OR go to Biblegateway.com and enter that word. From there a list will pull up of every time that word is mentioned in the bible. From there just choose the verse you want to look at. There is no right or wrong here. If you do choose a verse this way, be sure to read the two to three verses before and after that verse to get the idea of what the passage says. You never want to take a verse by itself because it may misconstrue the actual meaning.
c. “How long should the passage be?” Less is more. I wouldn’t read more than one chapter at a sitting. If you started reading and feel especially impacted read the next few verses to finish that thought and then stay with that section of verses. You definitely do not need to read an entire chapter.

2 Meditatio: Deliberate pondering of the message in the text.
a. Read the entire passage.
b. Read the passage again and write down everything it says about God. This includes Lord, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, God, I AM.
c. Read the passage a third time and write down anything that causes any kind of an emotional response.

3 Oratio: Responding to God’s message with honest, sincere prayer.
a. Talk to God about what you have just written, specifically the things that caused any kind of an emotional response. That is something the Lord wants to talk to you about! i. Example: If I wrote down, “God is just” and it impacted me emotionally in a positive way I would say something along the lines of, “Lord, I LOVE that you are just! It is so good and comforting and sweet to me to know that you WILL take care of things! I can let go and trust that justice WILL be done!” and if there is a specific thing I’m talking about like an injustice you have experienced, something you’ve heard about, etc elaborate specifically with the Lord. If it impacted me in a negative way I would say, “Lord, this says you are just but in … situation I haven’t seen this!!! Please please please be true to your Word and help me to trust you that you WILL be. Thank you that you ARE just and I can trust that you ARE working things out and I don’t have to be the one to do it. I can trust that you WILL work it out! Please show me if you want me to have any part in this. And as I trust you please flood me with your peace about the situation.”

4 Contemplatio: Allowing the prayer to dissolve into wordless, thoughtless contemplation, or simply resting in the Divine presence. The embrace of God.
a. If your time with God was:
i. Sweet - soak it in!!! Sit there and enjoy it with Him!! He longs for you to and it feels so good to do that!
ii. Painful - in that God pointed out some stuff in your life and it stung - Please let me remind you that there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:18). That means that if you have turned your heart to God, through Jesus Christ, the rest of our lives is about the Lord helping us become exactly who He created us to be and it is GLORIOUS!!! The Lord disciplines the one He loves (Hebrews 12:6) so sometimes our time with Him will be about Him pointing out things in us that aren’t according to what He desires for us and that may really sting, but it is for our GOOD. If it seems hard to remember His love in that moment, just remember that God loved you so much that He sent His only son so that you may know Him. That is no small thing. (John 16)
iii. Confusing - that is okay. Please continue to sit with Him until you feel released to go. You are truly sitting in the presence of God … linger. Even if you didn’t receive a ‘direct, clear word’ from Him be encouraged! The Lord says that His word NEVER returns empty/meaningless (Isaiah 55:11)! Ever! So even if it wasn’t for ‘this time’ trust that there was a reason you learned this today. The Lord WILL use the Word He just wrote on your heart.

My final “Lectio Divina” encouragement: Give God your active “Yes!” Whether it is in being obedient to what you have read in the Bible, or in being obedient to what you feel God is prompting you to do … when you give Him the freedom to shape your heart and your life He will do ABSOLUTELY wild things! I pray you saw just a glimpse of that in our time together. I did absolutely nothing and could have done nothing to plan any of what God has done with this session. Every single piece of it was simply me saying “Yes” to Him and trusting Him whatever that meant … it has been GLORIOUS!! Scary? Yes! But ultimately AMAZING and I would have missed it if I hadn’t given Him my “yes” and kept giving it as He gave me opportunity.

I beg you and encourage you to do the same. One of my favorites is in the book of Mark where there was a father who asked Jesus to heal his son. Jesus asked the father if he believed he could heal the son and the father very honestly said, “I believe. Please help overcome my unbelief.” It is very honest and okay to say that to the Lord as we grow in our relationship with Him. He knows it can be scary and just because you are scared doesn’t mean you are wrong. Be honest with your doubts and fears, and then choose to trust Him and do as He is prompting anyway. As you give Him your active “yes” He will do things in you and through you that you would have never imagined! (Ephesians 3:20)

Love, love, love to you. Anna

Friday, April 24, 2009

YOU are good.

Just enjoying the presence of my Father, King, Glory, Hope, Redeemer, Love, Jesus ... I wish words weren't so limited. I cannot do justice to the swelling and gratefulness in my heart.

He disciplines those He loves. He pursues those who have strayed. He RUNS to those returning.

He is SO good. "Good" is such an all encompassing word that seems so small but is fully perfect for the Lord.

"Good" obviously the Lord loves this word, it is in the Bible 562 times :O) I love what Jesus says about "good" "Now behold, one came and said to Him, 'Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?' So He said to him, 'Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God.; " (Matthew 19:16-17).

The root of good:
of good constitution or nature
useful, salutary
good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy
excellent, distinguished
upright, honourable

I like it :)

Monday, March 16, 2009

Sweet Replenishing.

It has been a VERY wearing last month or so ... a lot of GREAT great things going on, but they left me pulling from the last drop of myself. Actually, I think that drop was gone given that I couldn't get out of bed two Mondays ago. I had nothing.

God is WILD in His goodness. When we cry out to Him in honesty He is QUICK to do His thing. Thank you, Father! He has been working and replenishing for the past two weeks and it has been so sweet. If you have 20 minutes, and really this is WORTH you taking 20 minutes, you should really check out this sermon:

http://www.oneplace.com/common/player/oneplace/CustomPlayer.asp?bcd=3/12/2009&url=mms://wm.salemweb.net/a3186/o29/oneplace/wm/et/et20090312.wma&MinTitle=Enduring+Truth&MinURL=http://www.oneplace.comhttp://www.oneplace.com/ministries/enduring_truth/&MinArchives=http://www.oneplace.comhttp://www.oneplace.com/ministries/enduring_truth/archives.asp&Refresh=&AdsCategory=MINISTRY.ET&Show_ID=367
Here are some pics of His sweet replenishing. Lord, you are GOOD! (I have a more complete album up on Facebook, but this is pretty good too :O) )

OH! And if someone can throw me a bone on a better way to upload photos that would be GREAT!!! This always uploads them in reverse order, so, the pics below are from newest to oldest (very unfortunately, but I don't have time to straighten this out). Love you ALL!

My husband, knowing my heart of hearts, suggested that we grab some fun colors and do my hair this weekend... apparently I've married a man who can do ANYTHING because he did A FABULOUS job!!! Thanks, love!!! :)






I was craving a burger and Fuddrucker's delivered. I gasped OUT loud when I opened this box. This burger was NO joke!!! (And DELISH!!)


Ryan took me on a San Antonion Riverwalk Getaway last weekend ... this was San Antonio's parting gift to us ...


I almost moved to San Antonio last weekend for THIS park! ...


My love :O) Heading to the Riverwalk ... (also, note what my hair USED to look like :O) )


TASHA!!!! I was really 'done' with nothing more to give a couple of weeks ago and she called me on Thursday night asking if I was up for a surprise. I said, "YES!!! Please!!!" and she took me HORSBACKRIDING!! I had never really been before... what a WONDERFUL friend! i love you, Tasha!!!!!



That's "it" friends... Soaking in the literal grace and filling of the Lord> He is doing it Himself and using His people. I am learning to 'do' balance in a new way and it is GOOD.

Now, back to my yummy breakfast ...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Romans 8 Groaning

There are no pictures below so I wonder how many people will read this... I do the same thing. No pics? Less likely to read, BUT, I just read this article and it only affirms and HUGELY resounds in me regarding what I feel God has been talking to me about A LOT!!! ... A groaning just WELLED UP in me throughout my reading this.

Lord, please show us what you would have US do ... more specifically, me, Lord. What is MY role in this?

Awaken Us, O God!
Peter Beck
Professor, Writer
January 12, 2009

One of the great things about studying history is that God brings to our remembrance the mighty and wonderful things he has done in the past.

Did you know that a number of great revivals have swept across our nation over the years? Jonathan Edwards, pastor of a small frontier town in Massachusetts in the 1730s, witnessed a great work of God in which 300 believers were added to his church in six months. For 25 straight years at the beginning of the 1800s revivals flared all across the nation. During the Civil War over 250,000 soldiers, Union and Confederate, made professions of faith.

However, studying history also reveals our shortcomings. Did you know that there’s not been a great season of continual revival in America for over 100 years?

How can we explain that? It’s simple. Just as in the days before Israel’s exile, God’s people in America have turned their back on their Creator. Oh sure, there’s more churches today than at any point in our history. Yes, there are churches bursting at the seams with people. But, on the whole, churches in America have lost their way. They’ve forgotten their first love. They’ve grown old. They’ve grown cold. They’re now dead.

What we need is a great revival--not amongst the lost but among those who claim to have been found.

William Sprague, a witness to the revivals of the Second Great Awakening, said that “the efficiency of the church depends greatly on its purity.” He wasn’t talking about the smooth operation of the church. He was talking about the church’s ability to fulfill its God-given role, that of calling a lost and dying world to the Savior. He recognized that the church was sick, that it was cancerous, and that it was dying from the inside out.

The cause? Sin.

A church that harbors and tolerates sin of any kind is a church that no longer savors of the sweet smell of forgiveness. Instead, it reeks of spiritual death. Rather than living as their Lord lived, rather than living as the world should live, they live as the world lives. There’s no longer a significant difference between the people of the church and the people of the world. Is it any wonder that our children and grandchildren see no use for the church? They see a Christianity that doesn’t really matter. They see a Christianity that doesn’t make a difference. And, they see no use for it.

Baptist preacher Vance Havner once said, “A revival is the church remembering, the church repenting, the church repeating.”

We as a church must remember all that God has done for us and all that He has commanded us. We must repent of our individual and collective sins. We must return to our first love, sharing our faith, raising our voices in praise, and once again living lives worthy of a people called to bear His wonderful name.

We must look into our hearts, we must search our souls, and we must prepare our church. After all, the stakes are high. At risk is not just the reputation and future of our church. The reputation of Jesus Christ, His sacrifice, and His church are on the line.

Join me, even now, praying that God will work a miracle of awakening among us and bring great glory to Himself.



Peter Beck (Ph.D. Southern Seminary) is assistant professor of religion at Charleston Southern University in Charleston, South Carolina and a former Senior Pastor.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Good stuff.

The healing of the soul begins by restoring the glory of God to it's flaming all-attracting place at the center. ~ John Piper

Jesus is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of His nature. ~Hebrews 1:3

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. ~2 Corinthians 3:18

Grow. Grow strong. Stand tall. Yours is a valued treasure. ~Max Lucado

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Bible: Well, I struggle with it.

Soooo, I don't know how reading the Bible is for you ... dry, boring, exciting, interesting, dumbfounding? ... I think it has been ALL of those for me at different times, and in emailing a friend about it this morning, I wanted to put some stuff out there that has REALLY helped TRULY make the Bible come alive for me... Make me WANT to get in it, read it and DIG IN to what things really mean. SO, if you're interested, keep reading. These are the things that have ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS worked for me (even if you and I are completely different, it can't hurt to try it once or twice :O) ).


Getting Started
If you're new to reading the Bible and don't really know "how" or even if you've been reading for YEARS, I want to share what helps me HUGELY and really, really helps me connect EVERY TIME I open the Bible. When I do this process, it is always really rich:

  1. Before you open the Bible, pray and ask God to open your mind and heart to hear anything that He has for you. I PROMISE there is MUCH He wants you to know and asking Him to speak to us before we open up the Bible really helps to quiet our hearts to hear from Him. This may sound weird and new to you, but again, it can't hurt to try :O)
  2. Once you have prayed, read through the verse/passage in front of you and write down the things it says about God.
  3. Soak that in. What do those things say about God ... really think about it. If there is a specific thing that impacts you, sit and talk to God about that... speak/write OPENLY as you would a GREAT friend... if it doesn't make sense/is hard to reconcile, TALK to Him about it. If you LOVE it and wonder if it's too good to be true, TALK to Him about it... if you just want to CELEBRATE that THAT is part of who God is... do that!!! There is no 'time limit' on this... you just keep engaging with Him as much or as little as you want.
  4. Then, in that same passage, write down the words/phrases that impact you. Once you've identified them, you are going to do the same thing. Talk to God about why they impact you. It REALLY helps me to do that through writing because it helps me stay focused.
  5. And that is IT. It really IS that easy!!! Sometimes I read something about God and can't get past that because I am so impacted by it, sometimes I whiz right on through and take a little something with me. Either way, there is no 'rule' to this, it is just to help really engage my heart with what I am reading.

Also, when you come to the Bible, come with an EXPECTANT heart... EXPECT to read something that really impacts you! LOOK for it!

Okay, Digging Deeper:
Crosswalk.com is the website I use to REALLY dig into scripture. If you want to dig even deeper, see what different people in history have to say, see what the core meaning of the words are, check out this site... it is my FAVORITE and I'll tell you why. I'm going to use Jeremiah 29:10-14 as an example: http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&word=Jeremiah+29%3A10-15&section=0&version=nsn&language=en

  • SO, as you do the "Getting Started" steps and certain words impact you, you go to the link above and can click on that word (if it's underlined in blue) and it will take you to the original meaning of that word. Since the Bible was written in Hebrew and Greek (I think Greek, but that doesn't sound right to me), a lot of times the English language isn't able to catch the DEPTH of the word.
  • Soooooooo,when you click on this link it will take you to the depth of meaning, like this with 'plans' ... if you click on the word it pulls up this page: http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&word=Jeremiah+29%3A10-15&section=0&version=nsn&language=en Which really breaks down the word and you see even MORE of God's intentionality in that one of the meanings is 'design' ... that feels SO much more personal to even me. Be sure to go to that link, but there are SO many other words used there!
  • Anyhow, with SOME words there is an original Hebrew that the word came from... a root of the root if you will... and with 'plan' that is the case. At the page above that explains 'plan' deeper, look up and to the right and you will see "Word Origin from" with a number that is blue. That number represents the core, core, core of the word. If you click on THAT you find:http://bible.crosswalk.com/Lexicons/Hebrew/heb.cgi?number=2803&version=nas

And all of this is just with ONE word! I love, love, love doing 'wordstudies' on words that impact me/make me wonder, etc because once I dig deeper it gives me even more to talk to God about, gives greater impact in explaining the verse better, and can really resound with me more.

Okay, so that is JUST words.

Now, we're going to go back to the very first page: http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&word=Jeremiah+29%3A10-15&section=0&version=nsn&language=en.

  • At this page you will find on the left all kinds of study options. I think you might REALLY be interested in commentaries. Commentaries (if you aren't familiar) are what people who have studied the Bible, the history of the time, etc, in depth have to say about the passage you are looking at.
  • Once you click on the word 'Commentaries' a slew of options come up. Ones I would recommend: Matthew Henry's, Wesley's Explanatory Notes (at the bottom of the page), and the Geneva StudyBible. The others I really don't know much about.
  • When you click on a commentator's name, you will then be able to see which books of the Bible they have made remarks about. Just click on the book you're interested in and you can read what all they have to say.

And that is really just the beginning of all of the tools you will find at Crosswalk! I LOVE THIS SITE! So, anyhow, let me know if you have any questions about anything, would like other suggestions, just whatever :O)

I really pray you have fun talking to God about this. That you enjoy this process!

I love the freedom we have in talking about everything with God, and especially about the Bible. To be honest and say, "This is GREAT!' or "God, I really struggle with this, I don't understand." and to ask Him for His guidance, to keep digging deeper, etc.

Soooooo, that's that. This is what I love, and, again, always makes me walk away glad I did it.

I hope you have FUN!!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Red letter, or really BOLD letter, day... or both?

God changed my life today and it began with Psalm 139. I’m not even kidding. Now if I can just STAY in this!!! GUARD THIS TRUTH!

Let me just be honest and say that I’ve been very bored. Bored across the board. Heh. Seriously though, in our Small Group last week we started this new study and in it you write down ALLLLL of your “I wants.” The next step is to group them together and make a theme. The last step is to take your theme, which is your core desire, and ask the question “Why.” Like, “Why do I desire this?” until you get to the very, very core of what you desire and why it is you desire it.

I.E. I want to travel. Why? Because I like experiencing new people and new things. Why? Because it’s fun! Why? Because I’m created in the image of God and it seems that HE likes variety if He created it. *GASP!* That must mean it’s okay to have these desires!!!

And so it went and so it went… In the ‘final’ stepping back and looking at my core desires I realized I am BORED!

So, then we are in Staff Meeting this morning, and I had forgotten about the study and epiphany up above, we broke up into smaller groups and the first question they asked was, “What is most difficult for you in your current position?” My VERY first thought: I’m bored.

Is that WILD?! I hadn’t even thought about this or realized they were the same until I sat down to blog about the bored at work thing. The REASON I sat down to blog about it is because of what God has done in the 3 hours since I said it out loud.

So, backtracking to this morning, before the staff meeting, I had read Psalm 139 and was SO refreshed and invigorated and excited to be reminded of all of these things! “I see you, I know you, before you were born, etc, etc, etc”

Then, I go to staff meeting and declare, “I am bored.”

So, THEN, this is when God started really opening my eyes and doing His thing. My coworker is leaving staff and she shared something she’d journalled that she felt she needed to share with us. She began to quote the verse where God says, “I can do exceedingly abundantly more than all you could ask or imagine.” And she begins sharing how 1 year ago she had felt strongly called to a certain ministry and how God instead led her to this position where for the past year she has plotted and toiled. She shared how there is SO much that she learned, and could have only learned through this position, that prepared her for the steps that she would take now in this new life God is calling her to.

As she was saying all of this, it was all I could do not to start sobbing crying. I so LONG for that and I so FEEL like I’m in that ‘preparation’ time and just want to weep and cry and have my little tantrum. But what is WORSE:

I know, at least in part, why I am in my current job and I am not being faithful to those things. THAT was the Holy Spirit slap and it hurt and it was good.

Once I came to that, I felt like I needed to grab her and share how impacted I was and when I did, she said, “That’s really weird because I thought about you very specifically this morning… about your first day here.” And shared a bit more. I know who I was then and who I am being now and it only affirmed what God was saying, “Anna, you are not being faithful with where I have you and why I have you here.” But almost more than that, well not MORE, but yes, more. “I see you. I know your every thought. Your every desire. I know your words before you even speak them. I know how you are feeling. I am telling you I have a plan for you in this and it is more than all you could ask or imagine."

And you guys, He has only continued to AFFIRM that for the past few hours. Number 1, I feel LIFE… Holy Spirit continually being filled LIFE! Two, he has given me NUMEROUS opportunities, just since 11:30, to do the things I LOVE to do and be who I feel is ‘most me.’ THEN, to cap it ALL off, I was just asked to teach!!! One of my very core LOVES!!! MY GOSH, LORD! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

It is like He needed to deal with my sin, and then confirm, “I know you. Be who you are where you are.”

OH my gosh, THAT’S been the big struggle. I don’t feel I’ve been faithful to be WHO I am WHERE I am and it is across the board. NO WONDER I’M BORED…. I HAVEN’T BEEN LIVING IN WHO I KNOW GOD HAS CREATED ME TO BE!

How can we ever LIVE if we aren’t growing in who God created us to be and living in what He has already shared with us? And this is REGARDLESS of circumstance. This is REGARDLESS of job, responsibilities, routines, relationships, whatever… Lord, how can I be who YOU have created me to be and who you DESIRE me to be in this situation? And am I STAYING connected to Him in that? Another verse from this morning’s staff meeting… “Do not be drunk on wine, but be filled by the Spirit.” Our pastor shared it is a CONTINUAL filling … a one stop shop won’t do it. We HAVE to stay connected to continue to be filled with Him.

OOOOHHHHH, man! Oh, Lord, THANK YOU! I NEEDED this!

In ‘closing’ I am remembering what a volunteer said today which, again, confirms what God is telling me and even builds on it. I had been feeling guilty about not being able to spend time with him and he said, “Anna, I do what I do for you because it brings me life. And it brings me life because I know that by setting up tables and chairs, which I really enjoy, you have more time to do what brings YOU to life!” His saying that was I felt the Lord continuing to confirm in me that we are ONE body and when we all walk in being who we were created to be, doing what He is leading us to do, it is BEAUTIFUL.

Please continue build this girl.

Monday, January 26, 2009

To the ends of the earth!


Friday, Ryan calls at 11:51 a.m. "Hey babe! Wanna go to Padre?"
Me, "Today?"
Ryan, "Yes!"
Me, "COME GET ME!!"

We were packed and on the road by 1 p.m. ... YAY!! We LOVE spontenaety and I don't think we've been spontaneous in a while so this was GREAT!! Here are some pics :O)

On our way ... a beautiful drive :O)

Soooo, the reason we were able to get away is because Ryan's grandparents own this GREAT Texan Guest Ranch (http://www.texanguestranch.com/) where people come for extended stays, so they built a wing for family ... Thank you, Lord!! So, we stayed there, got to visit with his grandparents, and headed to Padre on Saturday.

Pic below, we are ALMOST to the beach and it was the coolest because we were driving to the end of the island and so there were HUGE sand dunes on both sides of the road... the wind was blowing the sand across the roads and it looked a lot like snow blowing acrosss. As we got closer and closer to the end of the island it honestly felt like the Pirates of the Carribbean where they sailed to the end of the earth... FUN! I knew we were going to the 'end' and that REALLY excited me!



Because it was so windy the wind formed these great sand formations with the shells, you can't really tell from the pics but it was soooo cool. We were just thinking, "God is SUCH an artist!! Even with sand on a beach, it forms a cool structure that makes me think of Him..."



Happy on the beach :O)



Soooo, after the beach we head to dinner at Blackbeard's and I'm telling Ryan this RIVETING story about how I pretty much got taken out by a 4 year old in the bathroom. Literally, I open the stall to leave and she physically bumrushes me trying to get to the toilet. Anyhow, in the midst of this story Ryan's eye begins to wander and I'm thinking, "What is he looking at?" So, he starts talking about what he's looking at and I'm thinking he's talking about this HUGE shipwrecked boat in front of the restaurant, but then realize he is not. He is talking about this car. (pic below)



Apparently a $300,000 car!! Can you even believe it?! So, I take Ryan's pic in front of it, you can see ANOTHER guy behind the car taking a picture and I walk away laughing about a male's unbelievable innate ability to smell a cool car. He was like, "What do you mean?" And I start telling him I thought he was talking about that huge shipwrecked boat and he says, only proving my point, "What boat???" LOL!! OOOHhhh, love it!
Anyhow, on the way home there was this gift shop that had the curbside appeal like NONE I have ever seen. If ever you've driven to South Padre you know what I am talking about. The thing behind me was a seashell. They had an entire scene of fish, corral, etc all along the side of the road that matched the size of this shell.

Apparently I love spontaneous and random ... according to the first week of MORPH that is exactly right on for me :O)
Hope you are all well :O)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Sweetness of Reality

A precious WONDERFUL friend of mine in her quirky honesty that I love SO much was dumbfounded about Paul and who he is and the way he writes...

Over Christmas I had asked several friends if they wanted to read through Philippians together and talk about it when Holiday Life is over. So we all got together last night and she so honestly, and kindly announced, "Being a new Christian, can I just be honest and say I don't get this guy?!" OOOOHHHH I love her and her honesty and her QUESTIONS!!! They are so great!

Essentially she was really struggling with/wrestling with Paul ... the way he writes, the fact that he wrote so often and sounded so self centered and I just said, "You are not the only person who struggles with Paul!" (shout out to you AOt) We talked about a few things and then she came back to his being crazy in writing soooo many letteres and wild in the things he said, etc, etc... I realized then how crucial it is to know Paul's backstory.

In sharing with her his backstory, Christ's love for me and the reality of my relationship with him pierced my heart afresh. Oohhhh, I needed it.

I said to her, "Are you familiar with that expression 'He who has been forgiven much loves much?'" and she wasn't so I continued, "I know this will sound weird, but just go with me ... Let's say when I was in highschool I murdered Ryan's mom and years later, even in knowing that, Ryan chose to love me and yoke himself to me. ... That's what happened with Paul and Jesus! Paul HATED people who followed Christ. HATED them, killed them, he was almost like a Hitler to Christ followers" ... and I proceeded to tell her Paul's ruthless history and how on his way to CONTINUE to kill people Jesus Himself confronted him on the road, struck him blind, and asked him why he was persecuting Him. I said, "Paul WAS crazy, Paul WAS zealous and it's because Jesus knew exactly who he was, what he had done, who he had been, and he said, 'I love you! I will forgive you.' Paul NEVER got over that!"

Even as I was sharing I was again becoming in awe at the incredible mystery and UNMERITED grace of salvation.

Talking to Ryan about it last night and even weeping about it this morning I am just undone about this. To remember/realize that that is exactly what Jesus said to us and continues to say to me ... "I know, Anna. I love you and I forgive you, and more than that I have YOKED myself to you. I will lead you, I will cover you, I will be your fighter, your leader. I love you with an EVERlasting love that is not contingent upon what you do or don't do. You are mine." WHAT?! WHY?! Is that wild?! Does that impact anyone else?!

Geez, I fully admit that of late it hadn't hit my heart as deeply as it used to, probably because I don't normally just sit and think about reality. Truly, this is REALITY. I am SO thankful for last night and the renewal of the sweetness of reality.

We are loved by THE King. We have been forgiven much, I pray we LOVE Him much. Oh, Jesus, I pray I love you MUCH MUCH.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sadie Update

Thanks for checking in on Sadie :O)

We have realized QUITE a few things in the past few weeks including that she really IS a Johnson. She has so many of the same traits Ryan and I have, specifically being emotional, needing touch, loving people and being very expressive about all of the above. She is PRECIOUS!

Regarding her 'during the day' ... oh man, what was the last thing I posted? Did I post that she CHEWED OUT OF THE HARD PLASTIC CRATE?! I believe I did, just wanted to give you that reminder.

SO, we tried the Metal Crate on Monday, but this time we put it in front of her coveted Guest Bedroom window so she could still see outside. We came home to the bottom frame being bent in, but still a Sadie inside. When we let her out she was shaking so badly I genuinely thought she was going to have a heart attack. I am beginning to wonder if she was locked in a closet or something as a puppy (seriously).

Did the metal crate again the next day and she was A-OKAY ... just really eager to get outside (if you know what I mean ....) It seems we've resolved the, "You WILL stay in a crate during the day."

SO, we're plotting along, plotting along and then she showed us how emotional (and expressive) she really is. Ryan had to work an INSANE amount of hours this week at home in his office with the door closed. So, we go to bed on Thursday night and I wake up Friday morning and go into his office to check the weather for the day ... "What's that smell?" I turn on the light and she had POOPED ALL OVER RYAN'S FLOOR!!! Like SEVEN different spots! This was NOT because she actually had to go. LOL!! OOOOHHHHHH gosh! So, I went into the bedroom and said, "See, honey, Sadie really loves you." He was like, "What do you mean?" "She missed you a LOT this week and showed her disapproval by pooping all over your office floor. Isn't that sweet?"

OOoohhhh Sadie, what a thin, thin line you are treading.

(butwedoloveyou-atleastIstilldo,daddyalittle)

Friday, January 9, 2009

Hip Hip Hooray for Christmas Vacation!

Was it great or was it GREAT?! It was pretty dang great!

Ryan was so so so so so sweet and bought me a new camera and one of those digital picture frames... I had NO idea I would even want one of those, but apparently I did because I opened it and just started CRYING I liked it so much!! Now I can see everyone I love sooooo much just scrolling at my desk all day long. YAY!!!

Christmas night we hung out at Ryan's sister's and the next night we went out with his family to Fogo de Chao. Let me just say, it really IS worth all of the raving associated!!! I went in VERY ready to just eat the heck up on the most choice meat and I DID... Proud to say I ate everyone under the table. *pleased smile, puffed out chest and belly* Pic below is of us after dinner. Some would say it's a bad pic of me, I think that's true and it's probably because I gained an IMMENSE amount of weight with just one meal and was unrecognizable even to myself for the next couple of days. BUT, it's a great pic of the fam so there it is :O)




The next day I rode with my in laws (very weird to say!) to Tyler and then began one of the very best trips of my entire life. Because I was there for 9 days I was able to spend very quality time with people I love so deeply. OH it was so good! So, that's the big picture, below are just some of the pics with 'snippets' I will say, one thing that was so sweet was getting to spend so much time with my family. Absence DID make my heart grow fonder ... and it was already pretty fond.

And on to the snippets ...

1. Time with my nephews. My love for them, what can I even say. Below you will find a VERY happy Gooby (that's me)





Swinging with sweet Noah. He wasn't feeling very well so he sat on my lap so we snuggled on the swingset :O)



Here I am practicing my mommy skills (not pregnant, just looking ahead). This little Solomon is so sweet! I don't know what it is about little legs in a diaper that are SOOOOOO cute!



2. Making my grandmother's authentic Italian Spaghetti and Meatballs. They are supposed to cook for 2 days, but we did the Cliff's Notes verion of 6 hours :O)




and... YUM!!! Chowing down on just a few of the 125 handmade meatballs.




3. Getting to see my mom really enjoy her family.





4. Watching Noah feel like a big boy in showing Gooby how he can push the wagon up the trailer. It is so wild how even now the boy in him looks proud to impress me. Beautiful.




We love each other A LOT!




5. SUCH great time with Ryan's friends and my friends and it is so fun because they are now becoming mutual friends!!! We got to have a DELISH meal at Shogun's with my best friend Stefani and a sweet friend of Ryan's (and now MINE), Christy :O)


5. Christmas Baking! Even though we missed pre-Christmas Baking we kept the tradition with Veronica at the reins! She is a BAKE-ER! My mom got her a new recipe book for Christmas so she got to choose whatever cookies she wanted to make :O)







HOWEVER, apparently Lisa and Veronica's cookies weren't artsy enough so my mom grabbed the sprinkles and 'helped' them. Look how pleased Veronica is! LOL!!! That is my mom's best friend, Ms Deborah :O) I LOVE HER!!!


My mom GLOWING with the girls she loves and a littlelittle embarrassed that she grabbed the sprinkles...




6. GREAT time with my sisters! God opened up so much time with the people I love and I am SO thankful!!!




This vacation was SOOOOOOOOO much more than I had ever hoped for! EVER! Ryan came in on Tuesday and he got to see so many people he loves as well :O) OH GOSH it was so good!
I pray your Christmas and New Year's was with people you love too :O)