The Sweetness of Reality

A precious WONDERFUL friend of mine in her quirky honesty that I love SO much was dumbfounded about Paul and who he is and the way he writes...

Over Christmas I had asked several friends if they wanted to read through Philippians together and talk about it when Holiday Life is over. So we all got together last night and she so honestly, and kindly announced, "Being a new Christian, can I just be honest and say I don't get this guy?!" OOOOHHHH I love her and her honesty and her QUESTIONS!!! They are so great!

Essentially she was really struggling with/wrestling with Paul ... the way he writes, the fact that he wrote so often and sounded so self centered and I just said, "You are not the only person who struggles with Paul!" (shout out to you AOt) We talked about a few things and then she came back to his being crazy in writing soooo many letteres and wild in the things he said, etc, etc... I realized then how crucial it is to know Paul's backstory.

In sharing with her his backstory, Christ's love for me and the reality of my relationship with him pierced my heart afresh. Oohhhh, I needed it.

I said to her, "Are you familiar with that expression 'He who has been forgiven much loves much?'" and she wasn't so I continued, "I know this will sound weird, but just go with me ... Let's say when I was in highschool I murdered Ryan's mom and years later, even in knowing that, Ryan chose to love me and yoke himself to me. ... That's what happened with Paul and Jesus! Paul HATED people who followed Christ. HATED them, killed them, he was almost like a Hitler to Christ followers" ... and I proceeded to tell her Paul's ruthless history and how on his way to CONTINUE to kill people Jesus Himself confronted him on the road, struck him blind, and asked him why he was persecuting Him. I said, "Paul WAS crazy, Paul WAS zealous and it's because Jesus knew exactly who he was, what he had done, who he had been, and he said, 'I love you! I will forgive you.' Paul NEVER got over that!"

Even as I was sharing I was again becoming in awe at the incredible mystery and UNMERITED grace of salvation.

Talking to Ryan about it last night and even weeping about it this morning I am just undone about this. To remember/realize that that is exactly what Jesus said to us and continues to say to me ... "I know, Anna. I love you and I forgive you, and more than that I have YOKED myself to you. I will lead you, I will cover you, I will be your fighter, your leader. I love you with an EVERlasting love that is not contingent upon what you do or don't do. You are mine." WHAT?! WHY?! Is that wild?! Does that impact anyone else?!

Geez, I fully admit that of late it hadn't hit my heart as deeply as it used to, probably because I don't normally just sit and think about reality. Truly, this is REALITY. I am SO thankful for last night and the renewal of the sweetness of reality.

We are loved by THE King. We have been forgiven much, I pray we LOVE Him much. Oh, Jesus, I pray I love you MUCH MUCH.