So glad you came :O)

A friend was sharing how she feels like she's lost the desire to be with God, to come to Him and is kind of scared about the lack of desire, and the lack of a repentant heart. She doesn't want to feel this way, but just does and doesn't know what to do about it. I can TOTALLY relate to that and told her that that is exactly where I've been recently and how I didn't really become repentant until I got in the Word and asked God to open my eyes to His words and anything He's trying to teach me.

I know it's different for everyone in every season/circumstance, but I would say that if you're feeling like you SHOULD have a repentant heart, ask Him for one and if you even should feel repentant. Could be that it isn't repentance that is 'needed,' but a renewed longing for Him. He'll tell you :O)

I have a spiritual coach through work and I was talking to him about all of this on Wed and he is always giving really good illustrations. He was saying how with his six year old daughter he ALWAYS desires to give her a hug when she gets home from school. Some days she's all about it, and some days he can tell that she just doesn't want to and that is okay. It doesn't change his love for her. But sometimes, as her father, he reaches out for her because he wants to and it's his responsibility, right and privilege as her father. One thing though that he never does is let go first. When she comes to him to hug him, love him, etc he is sure to never let her go first. He will stand there and love her for as long as she wants or needs.

He said, "She must have had a really hard day in kindergarten a couple of days ago because she came home looking for me and when she found me she just grabbed me and held on. And she didn't let go, so we just stood there holding each other and loving each other. And when she was ready, she let go." I just WEPT when he told me that because it is SOOOOO important to remember that just because we don't feel intimate with God it doesn't mean He doesn't love us just the same and it doesn't mean that when we come back he may not be there with the same love.

When we come to Him for love and to reconnect with him He is there always. WE are always the first ones to let go. Whether we come to Him and get filled up with His love, and in our ignorance walk away and get depleted again, and then come back and the pattern repeats... OR, we come, connect and get filled up, and then holding onto His hand start walking again... Either way, His love for us doesn't change. I love the visual of Him holding me in the hallway as soon as I walk back into His heart. I love that He DOESN'T let go of me. Ever. He has promised that He will never leave or forsake me. That is the truth and that is sweet.

Anyhow, love to you, and I hope that your time with Him is sweet in knowing that when you come to Him, His love for you hasn't changed at all. He's just happy that you came.