A desert on the mend

You know what, I am truly deeply in love with the Lord ... and it is nothing of my own doing. That's for dang sure.

I was just in the kitchen fixing myself a couple little hors' dourves (if I spelled that right I should give MYSELF 10 dollars) and as I was putting the finishing touches on, I was thinking of the conversation I had had with the Lord earlier ... really, the begging.

"GOD!! Why is it so easy to feel you and to talk to you and to hear from you when I am in community or with other people, but when it's just been you and me lately I feel so dry! Like you aren't there!! I hate that Lord and I don't want that type of relationship with You!! Please help me! Please show me what scripture to read .. i really want to hear You and I ask that Your Word would come alive to me. PLEASE speak to me as you desire" And John 7 came to mind, so I went on faith and I was reading about Jesus, which really does my heart good to read about my best friend and the life He lived. It goes to about the middle of the chapter where it talks about him being the spring of life. Specifically verse 37 and 38 say, "Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." This afternoon I just started crying because I haven't been feeling that way. When I am with OTHERS talking about God or even to Him I have, but what about just me and You, Lord?

This evening, as I was wrapping up making my crackers, turkey, swiss and dill relish (my hors' douvres ;) ), I was thinking back to that, "Father, I really don't feel the streams of living water and that's what I long for. I want to live in that place. I know You promise it, but I haven't been feeling it when it's just me and You" And as I was walking from the kitchen back to the office, He did it. All of the sudden gratefulness flooded my heart such that I forgot I had JUST uttered that prayer ... I was just walking through my house, and was suddenly so thankful for His provision of a sweet dog, a wonderful home, food to eat, an evening to relax and then I heard them, no FELT them, trinkling through my soul. Living Water.

The Lord just reminded me of something else that He's been talking to me about this week: He inhabits the praise of His people so it makes COMPLETE sense that I would feel Him as I praised and thanked Him!! GEEZ!!! You are SOO good! You CAUSED my thankful heart and then you INHABITED it!! You are so wild, Father! (you can read about this in Psalm 22, I'm heading there in just a sec)

Just now when I went to grab the verses above in John 7 I saw again the ones that follow: "By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive." I BELIEVE!! And He is HERE!!! Hallelujah! Or, Praise the Lord!!!

I am SO thankful the Spirit is inside of me, guiding me to praise and as a result, the Lord is here with me!!! Does He set us up to win or what??!?!

You truly blow my mind, Lord. You are more than ANYTHING I can understand, but I accept you SO thankfully, so thankfully.


ADDENDUM: I just went and looked at Psalm 22 and the word 'enthroned' is commonly used. Which in the original writing means: to dwell, remain, sit, abide
(Qal)
to sit, sit down
to be set
to remain, stay
to dwell, have one's abode
(Niphal) to be inhabited
(Piel) to set, place
(Hiphil)
to cause to sit
to cause to abide, set
to cause to dwell
to cause (cities) to be inhabited
to marry (give an dwelling to)
(Hophal)
to be inhabited
to make to dwell